Natalie Thinks

Each one unique, precious, loved. They are like new books; Waiting to be read. They are stories; Waiting to be written. Oh how I love reading them!

So yesterday I held the ninth birthday party of my third child, which for the record means it was the 39 th time I was staging some kind of birthday celebration, and by now, you’d think I must be somewhat of a pro at this. (Snorts) But it’s been a very rough month in a very rough year in a fairly rough life and I was feeling, to use a theological term, ‘fucking awful’. (Credit to Annie Lamott for that little gem) So I sent an invitation on Monday via whatsapp for Friday.  And what ensued was one of those tiny miracles whereby everything went off quite passably with the help of my two gorgeous older boys. Broken bicycle notwithstanding. My older two had half term so they walked to my youngest’s school and then walked a motley crew of 12 third and fourth graders home.  This involved taking on pretty much all their school bags half-way home, which are heavier than you could possibly believe (are these kids carrying dictionaries to school?), and consequently they arr...

A while back I asked a 30-something male pastor if he had a conscious strategy to empower women in ministry.  His answer was, “I just follow the lead of the Holy Spirit.” Mmm. Well that’s one of those unanswerable comebacks, but let me have a go anyway. If you think that you as a white, 30-something, male with a relatively privileged background are an uninterrupted channel for the Holy Spirit, then let's apply to the Vatican for sainthood straight away!  Am I really to believe the fact that every preaching opportunity in the last year was given to young, white men, was a move of the Holy Spirit?  But, YOU reading this are thankfully not that guy, so thank you for caring enough to find out what at least half your congregation needs! Firstly, open yourself up to the reality that you (like all of us) are prejudiced to favour what feels familiar, comfortable and relatable to you.  Then pray that God will open you up to notice those who don’t fit into t...

This past Sunday I had the delightful opportunity to speak at Hillside Vineyard. Our words can bring life to others or death.  If you'd like to hear more follow this link. http://www.hillsidevcf.org.za/files/F6280A4F-D555-4089-BB95-B5C82DEAA302--DC58C76D-CDE2-4078-B789-74C8A55ABF58/20160619-natalie-simmons-james-5.mp3

Hello and welcome, My latest offering is a cooking blog 'Osso Bucco and Risotto' - which is really a post about drinking wine while looking busy.  I don't really like cooking because I do it far too much.  My blog is being hosted by my friend Bev, who is a prolific blogger, and you can see more here: https://bevbouwer.blogspot.co.za/2016/04/natalie-cooks.html?m=1   Check out her other stuff while you're there. I blog sporadically, so if you don't want to miss it, follow me - I assume Google has a way of notifying you... Otherwise on twitter @Natalie_1971 and yes, that does give away my age! Happy reading.

One particular incident from my childhood always sticks out in my mind.  I had accidently broken a cup and, despite knowing that I was in a loving home, my immediate reaction was one of fear – what would happen?  My mother responded gently, “It’s okay, sweetie, accidents happen.”  As a youngish child, that was such a pivotal experience of grace.  There was no punishment, no reprimand, just gentle grace. It’s something I have always kept in mind as I raise my own children.  Of course, I know I haven’t succeeded all the time.  Especially on accidental matters.  It always seems too easy to react with a raised voice and to add on a rebuke, “if you weren’t running this wouldn’t have happened; or if you’d just been more careful it wouldn’t have happened!” How much harder it is to show grace when the transgressions are not just accidental, but deliberate thought-out choices: hitting their brother, saying something rude, and so on. Yet God models...

I know I joke about how I can’t live without my domestic worker, but of course I know I can.  It would be hard… With a family of 6 we do about 6 large (top loader) loads of washing a week.  My 3 teens leave home at 6:30 every morning and are often not home before 5, my husband is gone 12 hours a day, so most of the work would fall to me, and I already work half day.  But I have done it before and I could do it. But for me employing someone in this country, where unemployment stands at 25%, is truly an act of social compassion.  Having a job is a great source of dignity which is denied to 25% of our work eligible population.  Is it any wonder we sit with so many of the problems we do? As my budget continues to be challenged (several cost-of-living increases have led to further adjustments this month) it is very tempting to either retrench or reduce the hours of both my domestic worker and gardener.  But on reflection, let me tell you, I cannot...

I don’t know if you find it as unpleasant as I do when you’re in the company of someone who continually lets you know how hard up they are (when they often are not).  I consciously try to avoid saying, "We can’t afford it.”  Realistically it’s more accurate to say, “We have chosen to spend our money elsewhere.”  Because we have chosen to send our kids to a private school (albeit not a very expensive one) our choices of what else we can do are limited.  Because we have chosen to have life insurance, our choices to eat out have been curtailed.  It’s good to recognise and take responsibility for our choices such as they are within our circumstances.   Giving likewise is a choice.  I suspect most South Africans are very generous givers.  Certainly there is so much need around us.  A recent survey has revealed that a massive 93% of the country's people support charities and other social causes, with 54% donating money, 31% giving food...

So can I tell you something?  I mess up. A lot. Like all the time. I make mistakes.  Really stupid ones.  I send out emails with the wrong information.  I confuse dates.  I don't check things.  I forget things.  I mix up things and end up doing unnecessary work.  I make myself weak with panic and frustration sometimes.  And I feel bad about it.  How the hell could I have done that? How could I be so stupid? I mess up with money; with food; my body; my car; my clothes; my house.  It’s really quite limiting. Worse than that, I mess up with people.  Friends even.  I forget birthdays.  I say silly things that I want to leap on and beat to death the minute they’ve left my mouth.  I am living proof that you can’t please all of the people all of the time, but you can pretty much annoy them all in one go!  Most of the time I think really hard before I speak, yet, even so, I often still say exactly the wron...

This week I realised there was an important category missing in my budget: calamity.  I realised this when the R1000 speeding fine arrived in the mail.  I wanted to howl.  Really.  I was going 80 in a 60 zone but, in my defence, your Honour: 1.        It was one of those areas where it becomes 80 in about 20 metres from where I was fined. 2.        I really try to stick to the speed limit; not only because the roads I travel are policed by some of South Africa’s most vigilant traffic cops, but because I try to save diesel by driving cautiously! 3.        Most days I do an 80km round trip virtually all on provincial roads with high speed limits. I have become quite obsessive (but clearly not obsessive enough!) about abiding by speed limits.  My car has a very lovely cruise control which I use in the 60 zone (but obviously not that particular zone).  Henceforw...

Is it just me or is January a very long month?  I am running my budget from 25 th -25 th and even so, here I sit on the 22 nd and every budget allocation is either exhausted or overshot.  Again. Damn. I really was very conscious of every cent I spent this month because I knew I would have to account to y’all, and yet I still went over my grocery budget by about R800.  The good news is Woolworths allowed the use of Ucounts (Standard Bank rewards) for 2 weeks in January.  They did this last year too.  This enabled me to spend R1200 essentially free, as we had not used any Ucounts all year.  (Note to self: save this up again for beginning of year.)  So monetarily I stayed within budget, but really I went over…. On the subject of reward/loyalty cards; these are generally worth having.  Most don’t cost anything and if used judiciously they can save you quite a bit.  Just be aware of the psychology behind these, which is that when I walk ...

We are a family of six: 2 incomes, 4 kids (yes they were all planned; yes we were warned).  We have drawn up our budget for the coming year and after trimming and trimming we are still R3000 in the hole! (Munch Scream).   And in the face of the drought South Africa has faced this past year, food prices are predicted to rise significantly in 2016.  Scary times ahead. If you’re also feeling the pinch you may want to follow my blog this year as I try to implement some thrifty ideas.  Suggestions will also be welcome.  I can also mail you a sample Excel budget sheet that you can tailor to your requirements.  If you have less or no kids, for example, then why the hell do you have a problem? then you can adjust it accordingly. No doubt, we all have different ideas of what constitute luxuries, and of course some of the things I spend money on may seem indulgent to you, and vice versa. The following are luxuries I can can’t CAN live without....